Down the Dirt Road

Scavenger Hunt...

2007-03-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yes thats me and yes I am kissing a reindeers butt....it was a Scavenger Hunt that I made up and I just couldn't give the girls their next clue until they all kissed the reindeers butt...unfortunately they ALL refused to kiss the butt until I demonstrated for them exactly how it was done...and here's the part I haven't mentioned yet all of this was during the town parade...hundreds of people lined the sidewalks in their lawn chairs watching the four of us kiss that big wooden deer butt...Oh the things one must do to entertain our children....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS

2007-01-16T03:20:00.000-08:00

I love you both and I hope today is full of and smiles ...

Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces that incessantly draw great and magical moments...
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy New Year....

2007-01-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

No New Years resolutions....why set yourself up for certain failure...why start a new year with huge weights chained to your shoulders...this year I want to start fresh and new with no gigantic expectations just live every day and experience every day as it happens...no expectations doesn't that sound light as air?

I will not loose 20 pounds this year
I will not quit smoking either
or drinking
or bing eating
or swearing
I will not promise to be nicer
or calmer
or less neurotic
I will not lay off the chocolate
or Dorito's
or Twinkies
I will not exercize like a frantic maniac
I will not promise to drive the speed limit
or turn down "seconds" at dinner
I will not promise to go to church every sunday or talk "nice" to phony people...

I will not make promise's to myself that I know I cannot keep...

Blink...

2006-12-31T10:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went. Our first christmas without Grandma I felt like I was floating above the Holiday not dropping down deep enough into the festivities to let the loss effect me. She always loved Christmas she treated every gift everyone had ever given her like it was the one thing she had always wanted. She could tell you who gave her every ornament on her tree and she knew exactly when they gave it to her even the silly little construction paper cut-outs that were all faded and crinkled . Her favorite thing to do during the Holidays was always driving around through the town and countryside looking at all of the christmas lights, she would sit in the front seat next to my Grandpa and ooo and ahhh over even the tiniest display of lights. She was amazing and kind and big hearted and she taught me so many things she taught me compassion and forgiveness I watched her dote on a spoiled insensitive moody son for years and even after all of the thoughtless and mean things he said and did to her she never once had an unkind thing to say about him. Its funny how people can only ever think of wonderful things to say about loved ones that have passed away. I could sit for hours and try to come up with a negative thing about my grandma and the only thing that comes to mind is the fact that the woman was mettlesome she could and would NOT mind her own damn business. She would get something into her head and she would nag you until you were ready to slit your own freakin' wrists just to get away from the sound of her disapproval. She had her idea of how things should be and damn it that is how you had better DO IT ! Not such a horrible characteristic considering most often she was right! She once said to me two funny little things that didn't mean a whole lot to me at the time but for some reason have managed to stay with me all of these years...she said "Lucy never follow a man that turns your head follow the man that turns your heart"... "A good Lookin' man is almost always more Lookin' then Good."

Where I Am...

2006-11-10T06:32:00.000-08:00

At first, in the very beginning I thought about changing my Blog name, "Down the Dirt Road" after all I told myself, is not where I live anymore. I tried to come up with something kwirky and interesting something that would grab people by the eyeball and squeeze tight but nothing seemed to fit and then after wracking my brain for weeks I had a long talk with a friend of mine. We were talking about the things that have happened this year and how much my life has changed, I tried to explain how its a little hard to find myself in all of this I look around me at my apartment and at this small town and its very hard not to feel like I have stepped backwards just the slightest bit. My friend asked me if I really feel like I have stepped backwards, Are you sure thats what you've done? Can you really not see your self can you not find you in all of this? Do you still love the sound of the river? The color of the tree's in the fall? Are your children still the most important thing to you ? Do you still love to lay on a blanket under a tree and read a book? Do you still cry at sad movies and laugh at your own stupid jokes? Do you still love baby toes and the color red and the smell of dirt? Thats who you are thats where you are and when I think of you I still see fields of corn and miles of trees and front porch swings and rocking chairs, I still see country and long dirt roads.

I guess sometimes you just need someone to show you where you are , to take you by the hand and walk you straight to where you "live".

Guess its Gonna Have to Hurt...

2006-10-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

False or phony I don't think so. I am referring to my blog. In fact I think it is pretty accurate. Very little to draw attention for much more then a quick glance to see if the pictures have changed or maybe if there are a few new lines to read. I haven't really put a whole lot of content into my posts lately mostly because I am finding it hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words more so then because I want to deceive. I suppose it would be just plain simple to write exactly what happened in terms of where I am now and how I got here. I could just blurt it out and be done with it. Just the facts...cold and harsh and unforgiveable. I left. I left because I was having feelings for another man. I left because I thought it wasn't fair to Kruze. I left because I was confused and needed to clear my mind and find something that I felt was missing. I left because I didn't know how I could possibly stay, feeling the things I was feeling. I left because I felt that Kruze deserved better. I left because I didn't feel like I deserved the things that Kruze had to offer, he gave me everything that I thought could make me happy, things that I have wanted my entire life. I left because I just didn't feel deserving of those things because still I felt pieces missing, important pieces, pieces that can not be found in things. I left.

I Don't Know

2006-10-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was never looking to "better" my life just looking for something that was always missing I have hurt people and I am so very sorry for that but life should be lived in a way that makes you ecstatic to be alive and you should emit that feeling to those around you if you are just floating day to day with a sense of incompletion who are you saving by staying...

2006-10-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

Forget Not That The Earth Delights To Feel Your Barefeet
And The Winds Longs To Play With Your Hair

Un~Titled...

2006-10-04T03:24:00.000-07:00

If you base your self worth and self image on how other people see you and what they think of you, do you become that person ? If you go thru a major life change and for a time everything is flipped upside down and turned inside out and you can barely catch a glimpse of the person you once were , if all that is clearly visible is the you that reflects in the eyes of everyone around you is that reflection who you really are?

Blue...

2006-10-03T18:46:00.000-07:00

Isn't She Beautiful...

2006-09-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Over heard...

2006-09-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

Em : My nose hurts...
Sar: Maybe your tired...
Em : What !?!!
Sar: Tired of carrying that big thing around all day...

That kid has a gift !!

2006-09-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

Elephant Ears, Corndogs, The Scrambler and a Stuffed Dragon...

2006-09-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

Went to the fair in a small town near our home. Me and Em and Sar and my sister Anna and my nephew Jake and my friend Reish and her three boys we all had a blast. We ate way too much food and laughed like a bunch of 4th floor escapees. It was awesome. Reish's son Matt and my monster Em both talked me into doing some crazy rides with them, rides that normally look fun from a distance (a great distance)and only if you are not the one standing in line waiting to get on them! Even though I was horrified I decided "what the flip" what is the worst thing that could happen ( I could be strapped in nice and tight all safely secure and suddenly bolts and screws fly off the car I am strapped securely to unhinging my seat from the rest of the rapidly spinning rocket launcher sending me and the humongous metal death machine out into a crowd of innocent children with cotton candy and pink lemonade all over their faces)I rode, I screamed, I almost peed my pants and then we rode and screamed again! Worth every single second. Thanks Em and Matt for begging me and then finally talking me into it. And thanks Mason for sharing your Pluck a Duck adventure with me what a great day!

Em's Golden Birthday...

2006-08-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

Em's birthday was on the 13th it was her golden birthday...which means two things....she is no longer "just" a preteen...and she is a full blown bonafided TEENAGER...complete with the phone surgically attached to her ear and the keys on the laptop keyboard superglued to her finger tips...the first thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is check to see if any of her friends are online...and if they are...her face is plastered to the screen. The most I get out of her is a "what ?" "Gosh mom your such a loser"!! Ok, she is laughing when she says this so I usually let her live.
We spent Em's birthday doing girl things with my sister (Hi Anna !! Love Ya!!)
we had a blast, I took Em to get her ear pierced two more times (she now has three holes in her right ear...she's such a punk) and then we got her hair cut in a Salon in town...the girl that cut Em's hair was almost naked and very "cutting edge" she had short messy layers with about a gazillion shades of reds and browns and blacks in her hair...I was sure my daughter would walk out of there with some crazy
razored-up hack job and at one point the hairstylist actually did use a razor blade on Em's hair, Anna and I were Freakin'...What in the Name of "Aunt Ilene's cabbageless coleslaw" is she going to do with THAT ?!!!! But it turned out great...and I gave the stylist a big tip..."here honey take this money and buy yourself a shirt to go over that bra"....just kidding...but that was a lot of cleavage to leave layin' around!!
After Em's hair was finished and we left "BOOB's ARE US" we went shopping and Em found lots of fun stuff and bought some of it with her birthday money, then we had great big waffle cones jammed full of ice cream from a cute little shop on Main Street (every town in the whole world should have a "Cute Little Shop on Main Street" that sells humongously huge ice cream filled waffle cones) how can you possibly have a bad day with ice cream in your face and all over it? By the way here's a little some thing funny that happened regarding ice cream all over someones face...after the ice cream we stopped to get a movie from the video store to watch after supper...we all went in and found one right away...while we were up at the counter renting it...the guy behind the desk kept starring at me...I was torn between thinking "what do I have food in my teeth" and "Hmmmm maybe I'm lookin' kinda cute today"...I didn't think much of it and then when we left and got into the car I was backing out of the parking lot and I looked up into the rearview mirror and suddenly realized what the starring was all about....Peanut Butter flavored Chocolate ice cream all over my face...so what can I say College-boy when this girl eats ice cream her whole face is involved...Get Over It...and by the way loving family of females that were with me during the entire video shopping experience...I know that at some point one of you did see the huge amounts of chocolate all over my face...thanx for the heads up...Thanx for "Havin' my Back"...Sheesh !!!

10 More Things About Me...

2006-08-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

1. I do not like to drink soda from the can...the reason...I love to feel the
tickle of the soda bubbles on the end of my nose...the only way to achieve
this is to pour it into a glass before you drink...effervesence...
2. I can not sleep in a bed unless it has been made first...as in...even if I
have to make it right before I climb in...complete with blankets folded back
and pillows fluffed...its a sickness
3. I love ducks...I love the way water just rolls off of their feathers
and I love the way they look when they are about to take flight...kind of
like a bus with wings...very ungraceful yet perfectly wonderful to watch...
4. I can express myself better in writing then I can while talking...yet for
some reason my lips never stop flapping...
5. I would never be accused of being "Book-Smart"...
6. I could spend hours rock collecting...its a passion...
7. I love water...I love the sound of a river, the ripple of a stream and
the roar of the ocean...
8. I have made descisions in my life that I am not proud of...
9. I would love to spend a whole day in a gigantic hammock in autumn...
10. I am impatient...

Thought For the Day...

2006-08-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

"Shake it Like Jello"

Very Very Sorry...

2006-08-03T15:27:00.000-07:00

I have neglected my Blog for far too long...I am sorry. I have missed all of you...I have been going thru some huge life changes (no...I didn't get a sex change or join a free-love commune) but it is major and it has been stressful. I will try to share some of it in a later post but for now I will just say Please forgive my absence...I promise to do better in the future...besides I can't really function properly on a daily basis without hearing from all of you...I truely have missed you all and Joyce I hope your brother is doing well, I have been thinking of him and you and your family and keeping you in my prayers.
I promise to post real soon...until then here's a litle piece of trivial advice:
Never do sit-ups in shorts on cheap synthetic carpeting it can and will give your big bum a nasty rug-burn.....

Simple Distractions...

2006-07-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

Lil's class tonight went surprizingly well...I was astonished by her level of concentration. She barely noticed the other dogs...aside from an occasional "baring of her teeth" she simply ignored all of the other dogs and kept her attention directly on me. My first thought was...is she sick? I felt her nose...cold and wet. Did I somehow attach the leash to the collar of the wrong dog? Nope...after careful inspection I determined that it was in fact my Lil. She was amazing, she listened , she sat when told to, she wagged her tail happily at the two dogs on either side of us, I was even able to carry on an entire conversation with the instructor while Lil stared on quietly and obediently...I'm starting to think that enrolling Lilli in puppy class wasn't crazy thinking after all...Maybe she just needed to adjust to a new way of thinking...the way of thinking that requires her to realize that the world really can have more then one little dog inhabiting it. Then again maybe it was because of the Summer sausage I had jammed in my pocket for her treat....

Of This I Am Certain...

2006-07-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

....Well I almost had an entire post to write, lots of things about how I have been blessed and how my whole life I have been given so much and how I can see and feel and touch the Blessings that God has given me.
So why then do I still feel like I'm sitting at a folding table at a pancake feed at a baptist church...stuffed but still needing something more?

And while I'm at it... lets just say...I am surrounded by things I do not deserve...beautiful things that take my breath away every time I see them, touch them, feel them.

A Place in the Sun...

2006-06-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

Update (Lesson 2)...

2006-06-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

First of all I have to say that I think if I just would have made a post to my blog "Please Give Me All of Your Best Advice on Training My Lil" I would have been better off. You all have such great suggestions and I think the only thing this puppy training class is accomplishing is confusing Lil...Lil already knows the "sit" command she learned that one immediately as a tiny little pup (she is very smart)the instructors in class do not want me to use the word "sit" with her they want me to use a piece of a treat to coax her into the sit positon....Lil has know idea what the heck is expected of her and until she sits "their" way (we tried cheating: I whispered "sit" and of course Lil "sat" and I gave her a great big piece of cheese we were extremely proud of ourselves until we realized that we had been caught and the trainer was standing looking at us and shaking his head No...DANG Double DANG!!) we can't work on the next command which is "come", the "come" command is really the one Lil and I need to focus on...Lil thinks "come" means stalk off to any where other then where I am telling her to be...she finds any piece of furniture in the house and immediately puts herself between it and me the minute I say "come" and then she stands there staring at me thru her beady little eyes challenging me to "come" and get her. Lil is an absolute joy to have in this house and I mean that in the sincerest way she is funny and sweet and she has an amazing little personality I do not wish to change her little personality in any way. I really only have two things that I was hoping to get out of the puppy classes...I was hoping to get her a little more acceptable of new dogs (she trys to kill all new dogs regardless of shape or size) and I was hoping to be able to take her for a walk without needing to perform mouth to mouth recessation on her after every step (she pulls so hard on her leash that she literally gets no oxygen.
I do not want to "badmouth" the trainers of Lil's class for the most part they seem to be helping the other puppy's...it just feels to me that they are trying to send Lil backwards and that is not a direction Lil is willing to travel...

On the up side of things...When we were at our last class I bought Lil a new leash and collar with little ladybugs all over them and while I was paying for them I was talking to the girl behind the desk about how Lil isn't fabulous at the "walking" thing and the girl gave me a couple of really great tips on how to get Lil to be a little more "enjoyable" on a walk...I have since tried them and Lil and I have been practicing them and we both seem to agree that walking in this manner is much more fun for both of us..."Maybe the girl behind the desk" should be "The girl in the front of the pup class on that great big rubber floor"....

Oooops...I almost forgot to say Thank You All for all of your great advice...Lil and I appreciate any thing you might come up with and we both agree (I am speaking on her behalf) that anything you might think of in the future we would love to hear...we are open to any and all suggestions and tips on the training of "us". Thanks Again You Guys Are Awesome!!

Lesson 2...

2006-06-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Lilli's second class went much like the first...I could go into great detail and bore you all to death but instead lets just say this...our class instructors...both of them kept acting as though I was completely incompetent and had know idea what the heck I was doing...I will admit that they were mostly right and I was starting to get really frustrated and impatient with Lil, I think they could both see the frustration because at one point one of them came over and took Lil's leash and proceeded to try and get her to sit...she refused and made it known that she would continue to refuse until Hell froze over...dog trainer "pro" refused to give into tiny four legged beast and so a power struggle started...Lil won. The trainer then hauled Lil's little fannie over to trainer number 2 and informed him that Lil wouldn't sit...Trainer 2 then took up the fight...no luck for him either, so his response to me was this..."this here dog has an Extreme Alpha personality Good Luck getting her to bow down to you".
And that was Lesson 2....

Mixed Emotions: Removing the Past...

2006-06-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Kruze and I spent the day removing an old shed (water pump house). It was falling apart and one whole wall was being held up by a tree that completely surrounded the entire shed. The only thing keeping the structure from looking like a huge pile of rubble was the tree. There is an open well beneath the shed and we needed to access the well so that we can use the water to irrigate the garden. Kruze had knocked the shed over with a massive sledge hammer last week so I do not have any recent pictures of it still standing...though I did post a few of it last year. It took us most of the day to remove all of the junk that was left after Kruze knocked it down. We did find some interesting things in the mess though...a bunch of big old horse shoes...some antique tools...some old metal oil cans with very interesting color and shape...nothing worth any money but very interesting to see bits of the past...Here are some pics of the disposal...try to picture the end result with lots and lots of flowers planted around it and a fieldstone path leading to the cement foundation...it has potential to be something very beautiful you just need to imagine it...

If You Retch Easily...Read No Further...

2006-06-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last night was Lilli's first Obedience class (it was actually the second class but our dogs were not allowed to attend the first one...as the instructors were about to unleash top secret dog training tips that were off limits to canine ears).
I was completely vexed by what I was sure was going to be a nightmarish hour of me trying desperately not to look and act like a fool while my dog paraded around the black rubber warehouse floor all puffed up and looking like a mini Terminator. "Vex"ation was complete with-in the first 5 minutes that Lil and I were in the building...she literally pounced on and viciously attacked a tiny timid Cocker Spaniel puppy who then proceeded to wet himself all over the entrance floor while his owner glared at me and wisked him away from the demon dog from hell.We were making enemies fast. I could barely handle the outward display of rejection that was being offered up to Lil and I in oversized doses. I wanted to let go of the leash and pretend I had know affiliation to the nasty little Jack Russell...unfortunatly it was too late I had already been seen wrestling her to the rubber floor while trying to shove hotdogs in her mouth and begging her to please stop trying to kill her classmates. For the most part the instructors were friendly to us though I could tell -call it womans intuition- or maybe it was the squinty-eyed sideways glances when they thought I wasn't looking- that they were irritated by my lack of any sort of control over my dog. Heres what I was thinking at the time:
My dog is an absolute horror of a student please I beg of you,send a tutor
over here to this corner we have been banished to, so that I may in some way learn a small piece of dog obedience wisdom in this hour of lessons...Nope...they ignored us much like the kindergarten teacher ignores the loud humming nose picker.
Not only did my sweet baby try to rip the throat out of the giant lumbering Great Dane puppy, she also squatted in the middle of my sit command and peed a puddle that took me almost an entire roll of paper towel to clean up (of course I was being scrutinized by the other owners during the cleanup), she also pooped during free time and once again I was forced to dispose of her waste in front of an audience...Geez you would think people could at least leave you with a shread of dignity by turning their heads while your up to your wrists in poop...
The night was not a complete wash...
After class when all the puppys and owners were leaving I stayed behind with Lil and asked one of the instructors what I am doing wrong...her response..."pretty much everything"...so now I know... and that was Lesson 1....

2006-06-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Corn...Far as the eye can see...

Floatin' Boats....

2006-06-17T05:45:00.000-07:00

Em and Sar and I have a summer activity that we force on anyone that happens to spend the day with us...(these are all willing victims). We have a favorite spot to hang out, I have posted a million pictures of this secret spot...it is a small rapids in the middle of the woods in a park on the edge of a town near our home. It's beautiful and quiet and the absolute perfect place for picture taking. It's also the perfect spot for our summer activity: we make boats and then have races down the rapids and under the bridge...the winner gets bragging rights. There are very few rules and regulations...mostly anything goes the only rules are: everything that you use to make your boat needs to be found in the woods nothing can be brought with you from home, it can be as elaborate or as simple as big or small as you wish. We have forced mostly all of Em and Sar's friends and their cousin's and my friends kids to play the boat game its a great time and we all usually end up soaked and laughing...especially if someone's boat sinks. I would recommend spending a day floatin' boats...its fun and free and something that I hope my girls will always remember...

Pics from our recent Boat Floatin' Day spent with my sister and nephews :

Spiderweb...

Jake...

Anna...

Em...

From a distance...

Sar...

Shadow...

TJ and Sar...

Me...

2006-06-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Mason...Your God-Mommy Loves Your Little Pea-Pickin' Heart!!

Dirt and Sparkly Pink Fingernails...

2006-06-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the day in my garden trying to make it look less like I am purposely trying to cultivate weeds. There were weeds from one end to the other. The entire ground was green and that would be fine if the green served some sort of nutritional purpose...nope just life-sucking useless green harbingers of death...I still have at least another days worth of weeding to do and already my fingers look like they are attached to the wrists of a wild woman. My pretty pink nail polish is barely visible under the green stains and dirt...and just so that you all know I did wash my hands and scrub them, in fact I scrubbed them so much I am surprized my skin is still clinging to the bones...and still the green and dirt remains...I could wear gloves and it would make life easier, my hands would still look like they belong to a woman...but have you ever tried to pull weeds with gloves on? It takes all of the excitment and joy right out of grabbing the weed around its scrawny neck and ripping it mercilessly from the ground...I need to feel the dirt with my bare hands, gloves just steal the magic.
I would post a before pic so that you can truely understand the wreckage that was my garden...but it was just WAY too embarrassing and a disgrace to gardeners every where...in fact I swear I could see a look of disgust on our farmers face as he drove his big-ass new tractor past my garden and I am pretty sure I know what he was thinking too...that woman still "ain't" country...

Extreme Hyperventilation...

2006-06-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

2006-06-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

Overconfident-Mini-Dictator....

2006-06-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

Lil has taken over the house in a short 6 months...she has completely wrapped every person in this house around her tiny paw. She struts through the house with her head held high her nose in the air and a "don't even think about messin' with me" expression all over her furry face...I swear if I let her have control of our stereo Rap music would screech throughout the house all day long...she has that "I am the lord and leader" all others shall kneel before me, additude. You may think that I am exaggerating...I wish I were. She does have her moments of sweetness don't get me wrong...I will always look forward to her nibble-kisses...she licks my whole face and gets it all sloppy and then when she thinks she showered enough love all over my cheeks she nibbles just to show that she is still in charge...kind of keepin' me in line with the teeth.
She is now enrolled in the "take your puppy's additude down a notch or two" puppy obedience classes, 8 weeks of puppy behavioral management...we shall see...I talked to the woman that teaches the courses before I enrolled Lil, I wanted her to be aware of the fact that Lil thinks she weighs 250 pounds and will pick fights accordingly, I thought it was in her best interest to know that she wasn't dealing with an amature, when it comes to misbehavin Lil has got it all wrapped up and I think the instructor is going to have a major run for her money...we may even be expelled from the class. I am preparing myself for extreme embarrassment at the paws of my "Jack-ass Russell" (I mean that in the most lovingly adoring way)...

Great Big Monstrously Huge Apologies...

2006-06-01T17:07:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last post...I know that it isn't like you all are sittin' on your computers anxiously awaiting my next post or anything...but if you are anything like me you have a routine of checkin' in on the daily blogs to see whats happenin' with everyone. So if ya normally check in on this one I am so sorry for messin' up your routine. We were experiencing some techincal difficulties in the household...more to the point...our Laptop has been misbehavin' so I haven't been able to post or check my favorite blogs without having to wait for an ungodly amount of time for things to load.
I do have a bunch of pics to post from Memorial Day weekend...I will post them as soon as possible...

Pictures From Yesterday...

2006-05-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

My Mom took the pic of me watering the flowers, I took the rest...

In Dreams....

2006-05-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream. I wouldn't call it recurring...though it was similar to dreams I have had before. I dreamt that I was standing on the bank of a great big lake I was very near the edge, just looking across the water and suddenly all of my teeth fell right out of my head, every single one dropped from my mouth. I was standing there horrified when a man came to me and kept trying to help me put them back in I was crying and sobbing he kept saying "please don't cry I'll help you" but they just wouldn't stay where they were supposed to be. Then I was sitting in my Dentist's big office chair , while my dentist turned on all kinds of noisy equipment while he was trying to explain to me that he would have to do brain surgery on me and everything would be ok. Only he would need to have the Pizza delivery man help him with the procedure because all of his Dental assistants were off for the day. Every time I tried to tell him that he couldn't do brain surgery he was only a dentist he would turn on the noisy equipment so that he couldn't hear a word I was saying. I kept begging him to let me go but he just kept saying no, stay, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. But I didn't feel fine, I felt trapped, in that big office chair.

Charm-a-licious...

2006-05-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

Overheard while waiting for my "Chunky Monkey" (Vanilla Ice Cream swirled with Heath Bar Crunch,Walnuts and Banana).

My mom and Lil and I were waiting in the truck for Kruze and Em and Sar to bring us our Ice Cream (I love delivery). Lil was waiting extra-patiently for her vanilla puppy cone and watching the little boy in the yard across from the ice cream stand...he had almost all of her attention, except during the several times she scanned the sidewalk to see if her puppy cone was finally walking toward her. I opened the window so she could get a better view of the running toddler...he had no idea that he was under surveilance,he just kept running up and down his short concrete driveway chatting away to absolutely no one. Lil was mesmerized...she may even have forgotten (briefly)that her cone was on its way. Finally she leaned out of the window trying to get a closer look and he spotted her, he stopped running, and stood there wide-eyed and stone still staring at her, then he ran over to his little red bike with training wheels hopped on it and charged toward us with fearless speed, he stomped on his brakes and screeched to a halt a few yards from us and yelled " Hey Doggy How You Wika Me Bike?!! And then he sat there on his bike, waiting for her answer.
Toddler in his blue Spiderman Pj's and Lilli in her big black truck...
Completely Charm-a-licious....

Being Held Hostage...

2006-05-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Sadly, I am not surprized. My grandma has once again had to suffer the disappointment of being told that she can finally come closer to home...only to then be told that it is not going to happen. Fill her with hope and then deflate her spirits.

Over Mothers Day weekend we were visiting with Grandma when the nurse came in and told her that by Thursday she would be moving to a different hospital closer to home. Grandma's eyes lit up and she was so cheerful after that. I was so happy to hear the news too, it has been challenging to drive the distance...do not get me wrong...I would walk to the ends of the earth with my feet in shoes full of glass shards to visit this women, its just that with gas prices being what they are (appallingly retched) and the fact that I am forced to travel the distance in one day it makes it hard to visit more often...which incidently is exactly what this woman needs to get her back on her feet. I can not go into great detail, but I will tell you the facts in brief...Grandma is in another state and appartently that state is holding her hostage, I have come to this conclusion (very Oliver Stone of me, I admit)they have come up with every excuse as to why they can not transfer her back to our state...every excuse has been met or maybe I should say...we have over come every one of their excuses only to be handed another reason why she can not move. I am ready to drive my truck the 8 hours to her, grab her out of her prison cell throw her over my shoulder and carry her out on my own...and God help anyone that trys to stop me!!
I am frustrated beyond belief, but the worst thing of all is knowing that however great my frustration may be, my Grandmother is laying in a small room in the middle of a gigantic hospital with only one day of visitors to break up the lonliness, what is there to convince her to fight, to stay strong and to hold on?

Into the Sun...

2006-05-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

I took these pictures last week at sunset, a professional photographer would not be impressed, I am sure the sun spots are not something to strive for but I love the way these turned out. Dare to be different...

2006-05-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

I love this pic... Just Curious...Do you know where it came from? Anyone? (I did not take it.) Anna you are not allowed to participate because I have shown it to you a million times.

Pics: From the Road to Gran...

2006-05-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

"Those things that nature denied to human sight,
she revealed to the eyes of the soul."
~Ovid~ (43 B.C.-17 A.D.)

On the Road to Gran...

2006-05-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't really posted very much on my blog about how Grandma is doing, it has been very frustrating dealing with the Doctors and Nurse's, every time that we talk to them they have an entirely different story to tell, there are so many different health care professionals dealing with her at any given time that it has been extremely difficult to get a straight and knowledgeable anwser from any of them. I honestly have wondered if any of them actually have any clue at all. That being said, we have recently received great news from her Doctor, after months and months of being told that Grandma is far too ill to be moved to a closer facility, one that would allow us to visit her more then once a week, they are finally saying that her health has improved enough to move her. YEAH!! I only hope that we do not receive a phone call saying that this has changed once again...it would not surprize me.
During Grandma's illness and hospital stay, my sister, my mom and I have been treated pretty rotten by our distant family members, most of which have hardly visited Grandma during all of this. We have been criticized about everything. Apparently we have not been visiting her enough, we haven't shared enough of her medical info with them, we haven't tried hard enough to get her closer to us, we haven't sought enough medical attention(Hello?!!She is in the flippin' hospital its not like we have her locked in an attic some where in a broken down abandoned house!!) I have let these people get me down and have stressed over what they think for far long enough, they are completely ignorant and I don't really think they deserve any more of my consideration or sleepless nights. Its kind of funny how the people in Grandma's life that are doing the most criticizing and complaining about us, are also the ones that have done absolutely nothing to help her through this rough patch she is going through...where are they, when did they visit or call her? And for that matter where were all of these "concerned" people before she got sick? How often did they see her then? Or call her just to see how she was. I love my grandma and have been going through Hell watching her suffer like this and it has been especially painful to have her so far away , I have children in school and 2 jobs and a truck that guzzles gas but I still managed to drive 8 hours a day once a week to see her...most of the people complaining about my sister, my mom and I, all live within 30 minutes of Grandma's hospital...so to them I would say GET OFF YOUR OWN FAT ASSES...we are doing the best we can if you think you can do better THEN DO IT !!!

Well I feel better... ;o

Waiting for Tomorrow...

2006-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to post today because I just think that days like today are better left to me alone...why spread the ooze. And then I figured, well, I always share the funny quirky strange days maybe once in a while it would be ok to share a trampled flat and broken day. I feel like crying and I have felt that way most of the day, I know why but it would be so hard to put it into words and really the "why" is just so very complicated and emotionally draining that it needs to stay bottled, its just that today its a little extra fizzy and the cap keeps trying to pop off. So there it is...no explanation just a tiny plea for a cyber hand to hold. Tomorrow will be a better day...

Certainly Not in His Job Description...

2006-05-04T06:08:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in a few days...the warmer weather has kept me outside most of the time...and I have been very busy with traveling and I started my own landscaping business so that has kept me on the run lately...I love love love it. I have been neglecting my site recently...I hope to have a little more time to sit down and post at least every other day this summer, please bare with me while I get into some sort of a routine.

The real reason I wanted to make this post is for the most awesome of all Fed-Ex men. And although he will likely never see this post or even ever realize that a post has been written about him...it needs to be done.

Yesterday I was trying to get my lawn mowed (it generally takes at least three hours with both Kruze and I workin' at it)I started out with the push mower and mowed all of the areas that are just too hard to get at with the rider and then I walked around the yard with the weed whacker and whacked up a bunch of stuff, I was feeling like I was on a roll and it was going really smoothly and I really liked the idea of staying on top of this lawn and not letting it get out of hand...I need to keep my own yard in order and well-behaved other wise I will become exactly like the plumber fixing everyone else's leaky faucets while at home his own are sprayin' like Niagra. I finished all of the little whacker and push mower stuff and started mowing with the lawn tractor, I made one run across the yard and then got a little too close to the edge of the farmers (muddy) field and the mower and I both slide right off the edge of our yard and right into the sloppy field (which incidently had just been planted...sorry Mr.Farmer, Sir.)I tried backing out, I tried going forward it was stuck tight so I got off and tried to push it out,it made a horrible suctiony noise but it wouldn't budge (of course I did have it in reverse while I was trying to push it forward...SHHHhhhhh...thats just girl stuff)I was covered in mud up to my knees (thank God for big old rubber boots) I even tried to lift it up and pull it out, I was pushin' and pullin' and swearin' and kickin' for about 10 minutes when across the fields and down the road I seen a Fed-Ex Truck barrelin' it slowed down just before our driveway and turned toward me...such perfect timing and he barely had a clue that I was gonna beg him for a little manual labor and man muscle...he pulled up along side me and got out and handed me the package (Thanks Mom for ordering a Printer and having it shipped to our house it was like a dream) and just as he said "Have a great day" and was about to step back up into the safety and comfort of his truck I said "So I know this is totally not in your job description but do ya think maybe you could help me get that stinkin' mower out of the mud?" He started to laugh and then said, sure. So there we were Mr.Fed-Ex in his work shorts and hiking boots and me in my bibs and rubber boots pushin' and pullin' and kickin' and swearin' until we got it out. Now that is what I call service!! And he even kept his smile! Fed-Ex to the rescue above and beyond the call of duty...I think I should be on Tv in my bibs and boots covered in mud from head to toe tellin' the world about how great Fed-Ex men are at pullin' tractors out of muddy fields...don't ya think?

Jet Stream...

2006-05-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

Stupid Stupid Stupid Me...

2006-04-29T06:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone against your better judgement...or maybe putting it this way would be more appropriate...have you ever done something so completely and utterly stupid that you feel like literally kickin' your own ass? I still can not believe that I didn't say a big fat absolutely NO NOT EVER Not as long as I am walkin' talkin' and breathin' is my daughter coming over to play at your house...a house that is inhabited by 1 massive Dobermen Pincher and 1 equally massive German Sheppard!! BUUUUTTTT NO instead of saying "No", I was softened by the sweet little voice on the other end of the phone...Pleeeease can Em come over and play tomorrow night after school? Instead of saying no I said "How about if I have her call you tomorrow after school to let you know, if she doesn't have a ton of home work it should be alright". STUPID STUPID WOMAN!! Ironically I just had a very intense discussion with this child last week while she was in my kitchen, informing her that I haven't let Em and Sar come and play at her house because of her dogs, I explained my phobia and apologized for being so rigid and fearful...she assured me with great big blue sparkly eyes and a squeaky little preteen voice that "my dogs are just the sweetest and they would never bite anyone". PA-Leeease!! I have heard that line of crap before, but did I heed my own personal red flag warning of resistance? Nope...Em called...she went...she was biten in the arm and behind as she walked through the front door of her friends house...surprize surprize and let me say with pure and complete authority...I HATE BIG DOGS!! Kruze called me at work to tell me that Em had been biten twice and that the owner of the dogs was yelling at him because he wanted proof that the dogs had been vaccinated..."she" was yelling at "him"!!! Excuse me?!! Owner of 2 useless piles of stinking flesh get the frickin' proof before I grab my rifle and put a bullet in the back of both of their worthless heads!! And thats pretty much the fury that followed me around at work for the rest of the night. Kruze had to take Em to the emergency room just to be on the safe side, of course when there has been a dog bite there is all kinds of protcol...for instance..the Humane Society gets envolved...the dogs need to be quarentined for 10 days and the owner needs to make three visits with them to the vet during those 10 days...very costly...its a small victory for the victim. I am still angry. I still feel like an idiot for letting my daughter go over there, but mostly I am furious at the owner of the dogs, she had no right to yell at Kruze and no right to suggest that it was all Em's fault...people need to take responsibility for their pets, if they are uncontrollable and unpredictable then they have no business being around children. I share the blame for this one I agree, I am aware of how dogs respond to me and I should have suspected that my children would share this gene.

And She Drew a Crowd with Her Fake Piano Playing...

2006-04-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

My girls had a half day at school this week so I decided not to send them at all, they never do anything all that important on half days anyway...and we wanted to go and visit Grandma,the girls haven't seen her in a few weeks. We picked up my sister on the way (Hi Anna...yes girl this is the REVENGE I was talkin' about). We traveled the usual distance which has become increasingly difficult due to the gas prices...don't even get me started...I could do an entire post on what I think about these gas prices. If my grandma wasn't so bloody far away I would refuse to drive my truck at all this summer.
It was an uneventful trip...aside from my "alleged" crazy driving (check out: Lifeaccordingtoanna-4 Girls on a roadtrip). We were at the hospital and visiting with Grandma for a short time when the nurse came in and asked us to please leave the room because she wanted to move Gran from her wheel chair back into her bed so she could be a little more comfortable. We rode the elevator down to the lobby where there is a little visitors room, in the room is a piano that plays itself...and quite well. Em and Sar and I have spent time (dancing) in this visitors room when ever the nurses ask us to give them a few minutes alone with Gran. The girls love the piano and couldn't wait to show it to their Aunt. My sister was pretty astonished by the fact that the piano was playing itself...the wonder and awe beaming in her eyes...of course she felt moved to place her buns on the piano bench and it wasn't long before her fingers were moving across the keys...she threw her head back and closed her eyes like a pale skinned Stevie Wonder...swaying to the melody of her stolen talent...the girls and I were loving the show, she was very convincing, which is probably why when she finally finished her musical plegarism she opened her eyes and found a crowd of at least 8 elderly people staring at her with great appreciation and respect...if they hadn't already been standing they probably would have given her a standing ovation. Her face turned several shades of red (very becoming I might add)and she stood up and stepped away from the piano as the music continued to play beautifully under the skilled fingertips of an invisible pianist...Anna Anna Anna...I have never laughed so hard...I'm sure our laughter could still be heard drifting down the corridors of the hospital as we chased after her running for the elevator...

Brand Spankin' New Buds....

2006-04-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

Beyond Unreal...

2006-04-20T06:05:00.000-07:00

My mother is spending a little down time with us for the next week or two,I love it when she comes to stay. Em and Sar and all the dogs love it when Na~Na comes to visit too. They all fight over who gets to sit next to her, the dogs are especially jealous. Kruze likes it when she comes because it is a constant battle of the wits between the two of them, they rip on each other continuously(they are lovingly viscious).
Two days ago mom and I decided to go visit my grandmother in the hospital, its a long drive 4 hours there and of course 4 back. The drive started out beautifully, the sun was shining and mom and I were talking about the girls and school and Lilli and how she's turning out to be a really good litle dog (we brought her along to visit Gran,they allow small dogs). About an hour into the drive I spotted a little wooden playhouse with a green metal roof in a large yard next to a big red barn, incidently it happened to be an Amish farm. I slowed down and pulled into the driveway because there was a "for sale" sign on the little playhouse, Sar has been beggin' her daddy to build her a playhouse for about 2 years now, he hasn't had the time with all of the other projects he has been tryin' to tackle. It was really just the cutest little house and the Amish built it!! How can it get any better?!! I love all things Amish!! It was too perfect not to stop and examine it close up....Amish Farm...Big Red Barn...cow cows in the field...the sun was shinin' and I was wearin' my favorite skirt and sweater set and little leather sandals...how could a single thing go wrong?
I jumped out of the car and walked around the front of it toward the little house. It was so precious I hardly noticed a thing around me, I was just about to step up onto the little minature porch and peek through the window when I felt a mouth close over my hand...there were teeth, though I only felt them graze my flesh, I stopped dead in my tracks barely any time to register what was happening and certainly not enough time to conjure up my normal panic response at the meer sight of a dog. I looked down and there he stood, Big Dog. Thankfully he started to lick my hand,my face, my neck, all the while jumping all over me and wagging his tail happily. I started to feel that little familiar fear reer its ugly head as the dog got a little more carried away with the friendliness but I just kept telling him...nice big doggy...nice nice nice big doggy...pleeeeease stay nice big big doggy...while I walked quickly toward the car with him jumping all over me...I opened the door and jumped inside slamming it behind me. Shwuuhhhh relief!! And then we smelled it. The scent hit mom and I like a brick wall and knocked the wind clean out of our lungs! Cow manure! Big billowing clouds of stink...and I was wearing it. All over my skirt and sweater and sandals, arms and legs and in my hair, stink from head to toe. We could hardly breathe, we tried rolling the windows down, that didn't help. Mom even sprayed a little of the perfume she carries in her purse, that didn't help. It was a miserable stench, we were laughing and gagging all the way to the nearest town a little over an hour and a half away. Thank God for "great-big-blood-sucking-take-over-the-world-and-send-the little-man-with-his-little-business-packing-Wal*mart"(can you feel my love for Wal*mart?). I found a quick "make~do" outfit (and a gorgeous Easter Lily for Gran), purchased it and changed into the outfit after rinsing my arms and legs the best I could in the restroom and then jammed all the cow poop clothing in the bag and tied it as tight as I could...it still stunk even through the plastic. I was heading out thru the big Wal*mart doors and feeling like the crisis had been averted and it really hadn't been all that bad because if nothing else at least mom and I had a great laugh and isn't it much more fun to laugh at the detours and bumps along your path...and then, I kid you not, a bird flew over and shit on my head!! Right on my HEAD!! SHEESH could I be any more of a shit magnet!!?

The Perfect Storm....

2006-04-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Kruze took this picture a few nights ago while standing on our porch...

2006-04-14T04:55:00.000-07:00

"You can't change a man...unless he's in diapers" Mason,Nov 2005

Just Rambling...

2006-04-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

I am waiting for a delivery today so I am stuck in the house or at least around the house...so I figured what a great time to tell the tale of "Two Fathers and One Dad".

My mother filed for a divorce when I was 7 and my sister was 6. She divorced the man that gave me my genes and very little else. He was an alcoholic with a nasty temper and thats about all that I remember about him...aside from two incidents that seem to define him in my mind. The first being, him standing over me and my mom and my little sister, screaming at us and then walking away while swallowing the last drop of alcohol from the bottle in his hand and then turning and throwing the empty bottle at all three of us...not a horrible memory but not a memory I would choose to leave my children with. The second incident...me and my sister and my mom returning home to a front door that was left wide open, blood all over the door handle and smeared all over the door, blood every where on every surface and dripped all over the floor, a huge picture window completely smashed with glass laying every where, apparently my father could not find his key and he was in such a rush to find money for more alcohol that he decided to jump through the huge window in the living room leaving shattered glass and blood all over the floor, he smashed my Mickey Mouse piggy bank and stold all of my money leaving broken Mickey and blood all over my bed and blankets and then he did the same to my sisters Donald Duck piggy bank. A very loving man with so very much to offer...that would not describe my blood father. I would not say that I am bitter toward him or that I have been horribly damaged by him,I do not think that I need to lay on a couch and spend hundreds of dollars to work through my brief life with him, I have very few memories of him. He barely exists for me except for a few fleeting moments when I wish he had been something more then what he was.
My mother filed for divorce again when I was 14 and my sister was 13. She divorced the man that gave me my love of gardening and nature and the obsessive drive to finish what I have started (unfortunatly more often then not I am left with the feeling of complete failure because of this trait, my own mental deficency, he is not to blame). His favorite saying "If your going to do it half~assed, don't even start it at all". I have a million wonderful memories of this man ,he was a great listener and he was strong and hard working and humble. He could make me laugh until I felt like I was gonna pee my pants. He taught me so many things and I loved him completely, but he didn't love my mother and he stayed far longer then he should have.
Both of these men were my fathers. But neither one was ever my Dad. There has only been one constant man in my life that could even come close to deserving that title. His name was Leo,he was my grandpa. He was there when I was born, he was there when I took my first steps, he laughed when I laughed, he cried when he saw my tears, he listened to my teenage troubles and walked with me through my adult fears. He smiled with his eyes and loved with his whole heart and I am so thankful that he was in my life,he passed away when Emily was 2. I still feel him with me every day and if I close my eyes I can still see his smile...he gave me the security and the faith to realize that not all men leave...

South Bound to Some Where...

2006-04-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

2006-04-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

Anna recognize this view?

So I've Been Told...

2006-04-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

I talk in my sleep...and I guess to some extent I do remember most of these conversations or at least there are very vague recollections. I also remember most of the times that I have shoved Kruze until he is almost laying on the floor and the only thing keeping him from actually dropping from the bed are the sheets and blankets that are mercifully tangled around his hips and legs, these times I have heard bumps and thumps in the house and am positive that a stranger is lurking around. Mostly Kruze is a good sport and detangles himself from our warm bed to venture into the cold lower level of the house to chase off my imaginary burglar. There are other times though that he is just plain fed up and too tired to play along. These times I do eventually fall back asleep after realizing that if there really was a stranger in the house he probably would have gotten up to whatever monkey business he intended after the first or second hour of me laying with my eyes wide open staring at the blackness of the ceiling and listening with all of my might to see if I can hear him again.
I remember talking in my sleep and telling Kruze that I can hear voices (probably my own)and him listening very intently to the silence...and then there are times when I wake him up and then forget why I needed him to be awake...thankfully he has a good sense of humor. I have always had horrible sleep patterns, sometimes I can go for months with very little sleep...between 3 and 4 hours a night. I am sure this is due to the large amounts of coffee that I consume on a daily basis, but really, what are we if not for our vises?!!
Kruze's latest sleep disturbance...apparently I woke him out of a sound sleep to have him scratch the tip of my nose...and yes I do sort of remember this...and there was a perfectly good explanation for why I needed to wake him to scratch it!! My arms were asleep!! Both of them!!(its a horrible explanation, but I do vaguely remember feeling like the arms attached to my body belonged to someone else)He assured me that after 14 years of marriage he was happy to ablige....poor poor sleep deprived Kruze...no wonder the man is constantly complaining that he is exhausted!!

2006-04-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

Naughty Naughty Beag!! We had quite a scare this morning...Kruze put Maizy outside on her chain to do her morning business and later on when I went to the door with Milo so that he could have his turn Maizy and the chain were both gone...I freaked because when Maizy has no restraints that dog is like a rocket and the only thing that will stop her is a huge thundering screech to the top of your lungs and then that only works if she knows that you can see her...if she is out of site and she knows it she just runs full out to any where...well we all trudged thru the entire yard and surrounding fields...No Maizy and not even a howl to be heard, we were sure we would never see her again, then Kruze decided to take one more scope around the backyard by the wood piles...there she sat so forlorn with her head hangin' and her chin practically touchin' the ground, stuck tight and wrapped around a Red Currant bush...of course she just couldn't bring herself to bark or howl when we were all screaming and calling for her!! Sheesh! She could have starved to death(though it would have taken at least 2 months she is a little thick around the middle these days) out there all stuck in the bushes...

Oh Sunny (Frigid) Day....

2006-04-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

2006-04-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

The Lake near our home...

Dancing Naked by the Pale Moonlight....

2006-04-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Sar and I had to pick Em up after school, we decided to take Lilli with us (its impossible to bring Maizy along...she is embarrassing beyond all reason...she screeches and howls at cars driving by us and at people walking down the street and bikers and other dogs and mailmen and squirrels and roadkill and the wind...) we take Lil with us every where, she is quite the little social butterfly and can get even the crabbiest person to smile, she's such a little flirter. Whenever we pull up to stop lights Lil stands up on her hind legs peeks out the window with her perky little cock-eyed ears and the person in the next car just has to laugh and talk to her. Mostly though Lilli's habit in the car is to curl up in my lap and fall asleep while I am driving..I feel like maybe I should wear a Chaufers hat and a black suit and tie. I do love taking her along with us because she is so well behaved and we hardly even know she is there...so unlike her older sister. After we picked Em up from school I noticed that Em had some seriously dry lips, they were all chapped and cracking (she has a habit of licking them constantly especially outside and the wind really does a number on them) we were really close to the local "Health Food Store" so I left Em and Sar and Lilli in the car and ran in to find some chapstick...at this health food store finding chapstick that is just plain and simple chapstick is impossible, everything has Hemp in it (derived from marijauna) if I wanted my daughters lips to smell like marijauna we'd all just smoke a little!! JUST KIDDING!!! I did finally find a few different flavors one Mint/Lavender and one Lemon/Tangerine both of which still contained Hemp but thankfully neither one of these scents made me want to run outside and wrap my arms around an oak tree so I bought the Lemon/Tangerine for Em. While I was shopping around in the little store I found some homemade and completely all natural hand lotion it was called Kitchen Lotion and apparently if you use it after you do dishes it wards off dishpan hands and evil spirits. It had all kinds of crazy herbs in it and it smelled alot like dancing naked by the pale moonlight, carrots and brussell sprouts with a little Patchouli thrown in just to take that nasty smell of freshly smoked pot right off your finger tips...naturally I had to try some from the tester bottle...that was about roughly 16 hours ago and my hands still smell like a bonafided tree-hugger's hands regardless of the fact that I have since washed dishes, my hands a million times and my face just before bed and poor Lilli smells exactly the same because as soon as I slide back into my car seat after slathering the stuff all over my hands she jumped in my lap and kissed my face while I gave her great big hugs and kisses. Now I own a small dog that smells like she should be wearing only 100% cotton clothing and clogs and only bathe once a month in a bubbling creek in the middle of a green pasture...

Little Sick Hippie Chick...

2006-04-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Taken ~ July '05~

Sar wasn't feeling well this morning so I had to keep her home from school...right now she is laying under 2 fuzzy blankets on the couch and watching "The SpongeBob Movie" (not my favorite movie but she likes it). I was suspecting that we would have a sick day today because yesterday her class had an all day fieldtrip to a Play in a city near our town, it was a play about a popular fairytale, one that Sar ordinarily loves...and though the play was very good she hardly seemed interested in it at all and mostly kept her head on my shoulder with her eyes closed. She felt warm to me then. Most of last night she was quiet and laying around...not her normal self..usually she is terrorizing her sister, riding her bike or playing with her gazillion dolls. So it was a sick day today which of course I don't mind at all...that just means that I get to snuggle on the couch with her and watch all the cartoons that I normally can't watch...my favorite "Little Bear" by Maurice Sendick. Love Love Love "little Bear". I have to mention that I am absolutely in love with "Kipper" too, when Sarah was a baby (2years old)her and I watched the cartoon Kipper and in case none of you know who he is I will just have to tell you, he is the most adorable little cartoon terrior with a british accent. Love Love Love Kipper!! And so today is a cartoon snuggle fest with my baby and I don't even have to be embarrassed by the fact that "I" want to watch a cartoon Bear and Terrior...

Last Night...

2006-04-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've been taking a walk after supper every night...trying to get rid of the winter jiggle. Last night the air was a little frigid but the sun was shining so I decided to walk anyway. It was beautiful despite the fact that the only color visible was a hundred shades of brown...I should have been thinking about the beauty surrounding me and the fact that the only sound was of the wind blowing. Instead my thoughts kept returning to the fact that I was walking toward the home of the 7 Doberman Pincher's (You may remember them from a previous post of mine, "Shakin' in my Nike's"). I was walking down our road and thinking how very far away I was from anyone (further then a scream can carry),and hoping that those nasty dogs were inside their fence. I kept imaging that I could hear the sound of paws running and digging into gravel and dirt...my heart would start to race and I would turn around expecting to see 7 vicious dogs glaring at me with their razor sharp teeth bared. Of course every time I turned around there was nothing there but miles of dirt road.I had to turn around and head toward home because the closer I got to that house the harder my heart pounded and I was afraid I'd have a heart attack right there all over the muddy dirt road. Not a very dignified way to die and it really wouldn't read well as a headline in the local newspaper. "Woman dies all over muddy dirt road after imaginary dogs attack her". I did manage to take a few pictures before I turned tail and ran home to safety...I think tomorrow night I will stick to my usual path which leads far far away from those dogs.(who on earth by the way needs 7 vicious dogs? Its diabolical!!)

Here are a few of the pictures I took in between my pyschotic episodes...

10 Things...

2006-04-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

1. Big pet peeve..men who wear black socks with shorts and sandals...eeeew (rethink the wardrobe)...
2. Cherry koolaid...I crave it
3. I watch "Survivor" every week and I have been known to watch "The Bachelor" but only occasionally...(what are those woman thinking?)
4. I love poetry..my favorite poets : William Butler Yeats and Sarah Teasdale my favorite poems by these two poets : "The Song of the Wandering Aengus" William Butler Yeats and "Longing" by Sarah Teasdale...
5. I adore baby toes...
6. I love the end of the day when the sun is low and the sky is a million shades of blues and pinks and everything is perfectly green and glowing...
7. I only like the very first Dorito out of the bag...the rest are up for grabs...
8. Cookies...love them only when they are warm and fresh out of the oven or still cookie dough...
9. I'm scared of our basement...100 years of dirt floor and crawling things...
10. I am a horrible driver...there I said it..its true I am easily distracted and I drive way too fast...

I'm keeping this idea (10 Things) because although I only had a few of you actually tell me 10 things about yourselves I did have a few people email me and ask me to keep it up so it stays and I would still love to read a few things about all of you...so please please dig deep and find a few things you feel like admitting...or just eavesdrop on mine...either way its all good...

Learning Country....

2006-03-31T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well there are two things that I have become relatively good at predicting out here in the middle of 4 fields...first and foremost the fact that as soon as all of the signs of spring have arrived to brighten my world...the farmer's world awakens as well...in the form of a gigantic tractor and an even bigger manure spreader. As soon as the birdies start chirpin' and the trees start buddin' the "shit" starts flying and I mean that in the absolute most literal way. I do not nessesarily have a problem with the "poop factor" a farmer 's gotta do what a farmer's gotta do...but I have a problem with the location of the flying fertilizer... which brings me to the second thing I have gotten good at predicting...the farmer appartently spreads his liquid gold on the fields that he intends to plant corn...I have come to realize this, last spring he would arrive every morning promptly at 8:30 (exactly the time I head out to my porch with my coffee cup in hand to watch the morning unfold...I had to revise that morning tradition just a bit...8:00 so that the coffee and I were gone from the porch before the "stink" arrived)last spring the "poop flew largely in the field directly in front of our porch...I kept thinking...Geez I wonder what Mr.Farmerman is going to plant there....Wheat? Alfalfa? Clover? I was so excited at the thought of those three things...how beautiful it would be to wake up every morning to a 80 acre spread of wheat...imagine how disappointed I was when I started to see tiny rows of green sprouts appearing throughout the field...long wide rows much too far apart to be wheat or clover or alfalfa...CORN!! It was corn and it was going to totally block our view not to mention leave us feeling completely isolated from the outside world (as if we don't already feel that way sometimes, living down this 200 mile long driveway). My only consolation was in knowing (hoping) that farmers rotate their crops every year...I knew (hoped)that this year would be something short and green and beautiful and non-view-obstructing...NOPE...CORN...the "shit" is flyin' right in the exact same field as last year...I could run out to the field right this minute and throw myself to the ground and beg Mr.Farmerman to pleeeeeeesae pleeeease plant wheat I beg of you Sir in the riped baggy biboveralls and the green and yellow faded farmer cap...But No I will sit back quietly and take this blow like a good little student of the country world and not say a peckin' thing....because I know without a doubt that if I say that this corn bothers me I will be seeing life through corn stalks for many many many years to come...I am learning...

Sunset...

2006-03-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

I took this pic last night through the trees behind our house..

Spring Cleaning...

2006-03-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

Spent the day mopping all of the hardwood floors so I opened the windows and let some sunshine and fresh air in to help dry them and freshen up the house...another gorgeous day...

Sled Dog...

2006-03-28T17:22:00.000-08:00

Kruze and I had a yard work day today..we spent the afternoon cleaning up around the yard filling bird feeders,raking and burning leaves and just loving the warm weather. We had Lilli and Maizy outside with us all day ...we have been trying to train Lilli to stay close to us while she's outside , she hasn't quite gotten the hang of it yet , she may never get the hang of it...there are just too many distractions...cats sunning themselves every where... Maizy howling obnoxiously...a gigantic inferno of burning leaves just begging to be jumped into (where in Gods name is this dogs fear of fire!?)
Yesterday I was outside for about an hour with Lilli and she just would not stay by me I had to keep looking for her and I wasn't getting a single thing done...she is a Terrior and she is fast, the second I would turn my head she would run off around the corner of the house and out into the farmers field (which incidently has been freshly spread with manure) I couldn't keep up with her and I was trying to get a project finished so I decided to try an experiment...here, at this moment, is where I am pretty certain that all of you that are non-owners of Terriors will start to harbor large amounts of anger toward me...in fact I will not be surprized if my comments section is over flowing with hate mail tomorrow...on the other hand all of you that are owners of Terriors will no doubt find my invention the greatest since the invention of toilet paper!! Yes, it is THAT great!! Lilli is no longer known to this household as merely just "Lilli Jack Russell Princess Dictator of the Kruze family " she is now and forevermore known as "LilChinook Jack Russell Princess Dictator Lead Sled Dog"... cruel ? Maybe...but I for one am eternally greatful to the little blue plastic sled makers of the world...it didn't stop her but it slowed her down...

Project Warmth...

2006-03-25T09:14:00.000-08:00

When we first moved into our big old house we had know idea how much it would cost to keep it warm, after our first winter we had a massively rude awakening...a huge chunk of change to heat of huge chunk of a house. So we decided we would try a woodstove in the living room just to help out with the cost and add a little ambiance...not to mention the fact that a hundred years ago a woodstove actually stood in the very same spot...bringing back a little history felt right as well. We were pretty sure that we wanted to have a base beneath the woodstove that would look almost as though it were built at the same time the house was...unfortuneatly every mason we talked to refused to do the base the way we designed it...they knew modern design and modern materials and everything they drew up screamed "modern". After the fourth Mason it became pretty clear that we were going to have to do this project ourselves if we were going to get it the way we wanted it...so we trekked out into the woods and found a "sh@#" load of fieldstone and we bought a few fake pieces as well (to keep the over all wieght down) and we did the deal ourselves...it may not be perfect for everyones tastes but it is perfect for ours and we are extremely happy with how it turned out...and it is kind of funny to mention that one of the men that said it couldn't be done has seen it finished and was very impressed with it in fact he is thinking of doing one in his own home...not so bad for a couple of novices...and just as a side note..first winter with the woodstove and it has already nearly paid for itself gotta love that...

I Want to Walk With You...

2006-03-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

I Want To Walk With You

(From the album "HOUSE OF HOPE")
~Toni Childs~

I keep finding this decision hard
I keep finding a room that's in the dark
I don't know, shed some light on it
maybe save me from what I'm feeling
this lonely day
cause the secret's out and the secret's clear
what I want

yes I want to walk with you
I want to hear you say ";yes I want that too";
I want to walk, I want to walk with you
I want to hear you say ";yes I want that too";

can I tell you what I cannot tell myself
in my thoughts there's a voice calling
";you will be lost";
in my life I deny, deny this heavy load
and obsession is clearly my need to know
can I let it out, can I let you know
what I want

I don't want to run from this
it seems that it'd be hard to do now
I don't want to lose my head
falling down in front of you
I don't want to lose my head now
it could be so easy to do
if I could find a reason why
I'd stay here, stay here, stay here
stay here, stay

I want to give love
I want to share
I want to show you just how much I care
I want to hold you
I want to touch
I want to give my love away
I want to walk
I want to walk
I want you to know what it is in my soul

Just for Fun...

2006-03-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

Just a few pics I took around the house...

These pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this, but I have a Robin in my Apple Tree and buds on my Maple trees YEAH!!!!!!

10 Things You May Not Know About Me...

2006-03-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

1. I got my first kiss at the top of a huge tree in my grandparents back yard from a red headed boy in an AC~DC T-shirt...he was 2 years older then me...

2. My favorite color is red...

3. I cry every time I read a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" bedtime story to my girls...they always have to take turns finishing the story...

4. I only wear white Pj's in the summer...

5. I burn candles all day long...

6. I love the smell of warm tar on a hot summer day...

7. I think the wind blowing thru a corn field sounds exactly like the waves of the ocean crashing into the shore...

8. I hate bitchy people...

9. I hate my baby toes...

10. I love George Winston...

Bonus...

11. I despise Yanny, Jon Tesh and Rottweilers...(this may qualify me as a bitchy person #8)

Of course the real reason for this post is so that I can now have permission to ask you to tell me ten things I may not know about you....Care to share? Be as vague or as personal as you wish...

Flight...

2006-03-20T13:12:00.000-08:00

She followed slowly, taking a long time,
as though there were some obstacle in the way;
and yet: as though, once it were overcome,
she would be beyond all walking, and would fly...

~The Time Traveler's Wife~

Just pictures of Autumn...

2006-03-15T14:22:00.000-08:00

I am off to see my dear-sweet-little-granny (she is in the hospital) so I have no time to write...here are some pics I took this Fall...the horse is one of our friendlier nieghbors (very unlike the llamas)...I love to stop and chit chat with him he always comes closer to the fence to investigate and he is never stuck up or "put off" by all of the attention...Hope you like the pics I will post actual words when I get back in two days...take care....

Is This Getting Old?

2006-03-12T16:08:00.000-08:00

I Have been a little busy (doing yard work...Shhhhhh...don't tell anyone that I was raking in between patches of snow.... I can't help it I am so anxious to get started on the yard clean up).Anyway I have been busy so haven't had a chance to write much or even think of anything important to say so instead I thought I would post a few pics documenting how very much Maizy dislikes her new puppy sister...Hope I'm not boring you all to tears with all the pics of my pups...

As you can see Maizy just can not stand the sight of her...

Warning: Contents May Be Offensive To Some Viewers...

2006-03-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

Photography By Kruze :

And this is how my children will remember their mother...should some unforseen event force them to remember me thru photograghs...
I guess if Kruze must love something about me...it might as well be my Bum...
After all that is exactly what he told his friend the first time he saw me...I was bending over in a Diner and Kruze and his friend Cade came thru the door. Kruze spotted my behind and this is what he said to Cade..."I am going to marry that ass."
How profound and how could any woman resist? Of course it wasn't until after we were married that he shared this little morsel of truth....

More Random Shots of Warmer Weather...

2006-03-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am so done with winter. I have seen enough snow and ice and leafless trees to last me. I can not wait to be knee deep in mud in my garden . I can not wait to see the tiny heads of my dafodils poking thru the ground. I can not wait for our apple trees to sprout buds and the grass to turn green again. I am having some serious bouts of cabin fever. If only the sun would shine for more then 2 minutes out of the day.

No winter lasts forver;
no spring skips its turn.
~Hal Borland~

Good Morning...Good Day...

2006-03-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Air; thank you for so celestially flowing
into my nostrils; seductively caressing my mass of
unruly hair; to transit me higher than the heavens...
~Nikhil Pare~

Quietly "Abnormal"...

2006-03-06T08:14:00.000-08:00

A few days ago a mother of one of Sar's classmates decided it was her business to stop me in the hallway of the school and ask me personal questions about Sarah. Rude much!? I was some what surprized considering she barely knows Sarah or I, her daughter has attended our school for less then a year. She apparently was concerned that Sarah is quiet and while the other children in class are screaming and interrupting each other and the teacher, Sarah sits quietly at her desk refusing to get involved with the craziness. "And so naturally I was wondering if you all are having family issues"...Excuse Me!? Seriously Strange Woman with mental problems...how would that be any of your business if we were?! And we are not! In any case she stood there looking at me as though I were actually going to answer such an absurd question. I did. Because I am completely co-dependent that way. Rather then cause another person discomfort I will just let them shit all over me and then I will bitch about it afterward. I answered all of her questions politely and then walked away feeling like a big pile of useless baggage. I despise the fact that my greatest comebacks find their way into my brain hours after the offense has taken place. The absolutely great thing about having a blog that belongs to me alone is that I can now tell you all what I "should" have said to her when she asked me... "Is she "normal" at home ?":
My children are quiet and respectful of others they do not interrupt teachers or other students,they know that No means No , they do not talk back to or sass adults and they listen to what they are told. If that makes them "abnormal" then I guess they are. From what I can tell by observing the behavior in children recently "normal" consists of: completely ignoring simple instructions , talking back to your parents and any other adult that comes in contact with you, swearing and using vulgar language,interrupting anyone speaking as though you are the only person on earth with anything important to say, thinking and being allowed to think that the word "No" means "Yes" if you beg and plead and carry on like a complete little shit for any length of time. This pretty much sums up the definition of current "Normal"...and I am so glad that my children appear to be falling short of that mark!

That being said...I do not pretend to think that my children are perfect...they are not. They are just little people trying to find their way...they make mistakes, they misbehave,they beg and they say and do things that they regret later...just children...maybe an Old-Fashioned normal but "Normal" just the same....

Maizy exercizing the Sixth Amendment (Right to a Speedy Trial)

2006-03-04T22:02:00.000-08:00

I honestly think the proof is in the photographic evidence... opening and closing remarks are completely unnessessary and allowing the accused to plead the Fifth Amendment will only prolong the agony of the court process. Its all here folks and it ain't pretty....

Oh The Shame....

Green Reynolds Wrap (at one point it was wrapped securely around a piece of homemade pizza)...

That piece of Homemade Pizza...laying suspiciously naked on the 104 year old hardwood kitchen floor...

Tampering with the evidence....

The Sweetest Thing....

2006-03-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

I read everything...books,magazines,tabloids, catalogs,recipe books,blogs,I have even been known to read cereal boxes, the shampoo bottle and the back of a tube of toothpaste. I have discovered many interesting facts, Amelia Earhart was extremely shy, men can write about love far better then woman, a sleigh bed works equally well with both vintage and contemporary design,Jen spent her 37 birthday all alone, if you whip each individual egg for one minute after each addition your pound cake will be amazingly light and fluffy, Cheerios can actually lower your cholesterol and you certainly will not have a heart attack while your eating them. All of these discoveries have enriched my life immeasureably, though my most valued and treasured discoveries are the tiny little notes that I find secretly hidden in my books and magazines and catologs. Sweet little reminders that my babies love me. Tucked into the first page of the next chapter in my current book a little yellow piece of paper that says "I love you Mom have a good night at work" Love Em, tucked into my favorite Pottery Barn Ideas and Inspiration book , a small piece of paper colored carefully with every crayon she owns "This book belongs to Lucy Kruze I love you Mom Love Always Sar Bear". My favorite literary discoveries are hand- written and colorful....

2006-03-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
~Henry David Thoreau~

Happy Birthday Kruze

Teaching Her Teacher the Fine Art of Comebacks...

2006-02-28T20:22:00.000-08:00

I found this tiny "post it" note in Em's backpack :

Dear Mr.L
When Trevor says comments about you and you don't think its funny and you say "thats about as funny as the way your face looks". That is actually a compliment to Trevor because you are saying his face isn't funny looking! Do you get what I am saying ?!!? So I suggest you think of a different comeback otherwise someone will figure it out!

Signed, Someone

I realize that snooping in my 12 year olds backpack could be considered an invasion of privacy but honestly....how can you expect me to stop when I continue to find these little treasure's!!? It is my God given right as a mother to be a nosy Bitch, so there!! And besides I have a constitutional right to persue happiness...

Fat Day...

2006-02-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

Being smack dab in the middle of a "Fat Day" me and the girls decided to make Cinnamon Oatmeal cookies and Zucchini Bread.

Fat Day=
Fat Head....Can't process full sentences
Fat Ass....Can't get off the couch
Fat Face....Can't stop snorfing food

In my opinion every woman in the world should be entitled to many consecutive Fat Days...especially since we are constantly being forced to participate in Skinny Days. Skinny days suck.

Skinny Day=
Skinny Head....Must remember millions of minutes worth of schedules and after school activities and play dates and supper menus and grocery lists dentist appts and homework assignments and separating the laundry and it just goes on and on
Skinny Ass....Can't find time to put your ass on the couch
Skinny Face...Pores packed with oxygen blocking layers of moisturizers and make-up

Fat days are such a gift...feeding frenzy-movie watchin'-make-up free-hair of a wild woman-wonderful reckless abandonment of guilt. YEP we live for and even crave Fat Day...

2006-02-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

My Beautiful Boy Barley Scopin' out the Pumpkins...Isn't he Stunning?!!

2006-02-24T08:41:00.000-08:00

Me and My Boy Barley...Remember this day Reish? It was just before Halloween and me and you and Mason were all sitting on the porch lovin' the sun and the lemonade and you took this pic with my camera...we need to relive it this summer (fall) it was an awesome day for chattin' and the kids were having a blast on the trampoline...

2006-02-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

Me and Barley Talkin'...

Missin' Summer Somethin' Fierce....

2006-02-22T03:18:00.000-08:00

2006-02-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

In a certain faraway land, words freeze as soon as they are uttered, so that words spoken go unheard until the return of the sun...~Moralia~

Happy Happy Happy Birthday Connie!!

2006-02-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

"I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Conrad...I hope you have a Wonderful Birthday today...I hope everything you see brings a smile to your face...I hope the sun shines extra bright and warms your cheeks and I hope your night is full of belly-laughs and "Fuzzy Navals" !!! Happy Birthday Con....and remember...know matter how old you get...I'll always be one day older...that should bring you your first smile of the day!! Solid Friend ...Love you...

Thank you for the call !! And I LOVED your rendition of the Happy Birthday Song I think you should make a video of you singing it while you practice your new "Belly Dancing " moves!! By the way I think its awesome that I can say that my friend is a Real-Live-Honest-To-Goodness Belly Dancer....WOW COOL IS THAT !!

More Lilli...

2006-02-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

Lilli....

2006-02-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

Introducing Lilli...the newest member to our family. Sarah's puppy, Sarah has been saving money since Christmas, every cent of her allowance and Christmas and Birthday money, so that she could buy her very own Jack Russell puppy. She has been very patient and she was very certain that she wanted a Jack Russell so it took us a while to find one. After checking the paper every week we finally spotted an ad for 8 week old pups and they were located close to us too, Kruze went to pick the puppy up, she was born in a pretty little Bed and Breakfast in the country. The people that own the Bed and Breakfast have 7 Jack Russells and they said that they make wonderful family pets . I'm sure Lilli will be a little monster just like Maizy but at least she's "cute as a bugs ear"! So much can be forgiven when the offender is completely adorable...

Gigantic Injustices....

2006-01-28T06:18:00.000-08:00

After a 20 minute conversation with a 22 year old associate at work, actually it wasn't a conversation so much as it was her standing directly inside my bubble of personal space with her flaring nostrils practically touching the flesh covering my cheek bones while her voice reached levels capable of shattering glass. She was "troubled". Due to the fact that ordinarily I adore this person,she can make me laugh so hard that flem flys out of my nose and mouth (visualize) and the fact that she wasn't yelling "at" me she was yelling "to" me, I allowed her to continue to invade my space. After she had a large enough audience, most of us staring at her with our mouths agape and drool dripping down our chins, she screams to the top of her lungs "Lucy, HE IS SATAN!! And why should I have to listen to a word he says ?!!! He doesn't even have HAIR!!!!" Then she stood there with her hands on her hips waiting for my reply....I was completely brain dead...honestly how does one respond....I love my job....

As Requested...

2006-01-24T17:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics that were taken over the past year of my braceface...I know that you (Blondie) asked for recent pics "without" the braces, but due to lack of time and my husbands need to photograph various regions further south then my toothy grin we have very few taken of the braceless face, so as soon as possible I will post a few tinsel-less smiles...

Update:
For whatever reason I can not get any of the other pics to load so you are now forced to look at the pic of me fishing...and this is what it looks like when I catch a fish that is only slightly bigger then the fish that you win from the "Carnie" at the County Fair...not a good look.. but hey, there are those braces and mighty sparkly they are...

Update 2:
Ok I actually got another pic to download..me and Barley..a "bit" better then the fish pic...

Happy Happy Happy (Way Late) Birthday JaneAllen!!!

2006-01-21T06:29:00.000-08:00

I sooooo know that I should be beaten and FLOGGED within an inch of my life for posting this sooooooo embarrassingly late, but just so that you know I didn't really forget your birthday I never forget birthdays I'm just a big fat irresponsible loser that has a major cerebral conflict with the postal service...as in: I buy the card...I write all kinds of teary-eyed stuff in it ...I seal it...I address it and sometimes I even go so far as to lick the stamp and Stamp it ...and then that is generally where it all goes wrong. I have witnesses to this affliction and I pray to God that this wayward gene has not been passed on to these witnesses!! Kruze won't even let me buy Christmas cards anymore because they all end up in Lucy's "never to be mailed and actually seen by any true recipiant" pile of Greeting Card Hell.I have millions of cards for all occasions that are sealed and addressed in every drawer in my guest room dresser. Its a sickness. I admit it. I only wish there were a cure...or a ICSTMGCA "I Can't Seem To Mail Greeting Cards Anonymous"...Oh there must be others like me out there...we could gather in a small rank dark room and share our shame...

So Janesy I Love Ya Girl and I sure do hope that TWO WEEKS ago you had an AWESOME BIRTHDAY!!!!

Sarah's 9th Birthday....

2006-01-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

Pics of the Sleepover/Birthday Party...not in any particular order....

Blowing out the candles...

Riping thru the wrapping...

Checking out the gifts...

Shortly after she tried to pull an entire homemade pizza from the table..NAUGHTY DOG!!

Em and Court making that homemade pizza...

Future pizza chefs...

Tinkerbell...

Preteens hiding from the 9 year olds and listening to their tunes...

Best gift ever Beag in a bow...

Frog-green teddy bear...

Yeah!! More tiny things to get stuck in the vaccum cleaner!!

Thanx Daddy!!

Comments overheard while innocently eavesdropping...during Sar's Birthday Party...

"Don't call me a girl!!...I'm a woman!! (said by a 9 year old sporting pig tails)

"Wow Sarah..your house looks like a picture on a post card...only its too big to fit on a post card" (interestingly said by same 9 year old)

"Maizy!! Naughty Girl!! (even small children newly aquainted with "The Beag" can see instantly what she is all about!)

"Do your dogs like each other?" Sarah's response: "No...Milo pees on Maizy "
9 year olds response: "Wow !! That's just nasty, dude !! (where did this kid come from?)

Just a small glimpse into the minds of 9 year olds...unfortuneatly this is all that I have for you because as soon as the ice cream cake was served and eaten there was very little "talking" and a whole-whole lot of ear piercing-earth shattering-wall shaking sugar induced screaming...

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

2006-01-19T15:17:00.000-08:00

Sarah: Mom...your beautiful...
Me: AAAAhhhh Thank you Baby...that is just the sweetest thing...
Sarah: And I will love you forever...even if you get old and ugly....

De-braced....

2006-01-18T11:07:00.000-08:00

Well today was the day...they riped the braces from my head...and I was sure there would be teeth still attached to them as the dental assistant reefed them out, but thankfully all of my teeth are still in my big pie whole...and by the way I am referring to my mouth as a "big pie whole" because my dentist informed me that I have a "big" mouth after measuring the distance that I can comfortably open my jaw he LOUDLY exclaimed "Geez.. you could fit a coke can in there!
Me: "Well how very kind and thoughtful of you to inform your entire office full of clientele!!" I gotta love the guy despite his obvious lack of "tact". After all he has in one year given me a smile that I feel confident to show off and after spending 35 years hiding my smile behind my hand and laughing through my fingers I would say he is a Saint in my book!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

2006-01-16T17:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Sarah and Reish !!!

Beautiful Distractions...

2006-01-14T06:14:00.000-08:00

There will be little rubs of disappointments everywhere,and we are all apt to expect too much, but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another, if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better, we find comfort somewhere...

~Jane Austin~
1775-1817
(Mansfield Park)

Happy Anniversary Kruze....

2006-01-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

The best and most beautiful things in this world
cannot be seen, nor touched...
but are felt in the heart...

~Helen Keller~

Collage...

2006-01-09T08:02:00.000-08:00

Our Driveway and the Norway Pines lining our backyard...illusion...

Cruel Miscommunication...

2006-01-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

Prayers to West Virginia...
To be told that a member of your family is trapped underground with poisonous gases surrounding them and the earth threatening to crush them, and then dreading with all your heart that they may never be rescued, must be one of the most horrible things a person must endure. Imagine the pure rush of relief and emotion that must have nearly burst through their chests when those woman heard that their husbands were found and that all but one of them were alive and well. Then three hours later the cruel truth catches up to the Media and those poor women learn that there are no survivors. Three short hours of sweet relief, not nearly enough to make up for the deep sickening heart breaking loss they are now feeling. It is just inexcusable to put a person thru that kind of pain,to give them hope and then steal it back...I pray that God will wrap his healing arms around all of the wives, children, relatives and friends of the lost Miners and carry them thru the darkness.